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(National Association for the Appreciation of Color Perception.)
By Grat Crabtree

Big things have been happening around here lately! (Like you haven't noticed!)

Our number one goal of identifying and naming every known color is off to a nice start. Only a few thousand problem colors left. (I don't care what anybody says, there are no 'ugly' colors, just 'problem' colors.)

Our bill is now going through congress that will officially name brownish green, Breen. (Thanks for all the suggestions.) If we keep pushing this will go through. (Not like pornge!)

Crayola has agreed to go to binding arbitration in our fight to force them to correctly label their products according to ANSO 1030A. This old battle may finally be resolved! They WILL be forced to identify Cornflower as Purplish Blue and Maize will be known as Indian Corn. (It's the best we can do at this late stage.)

Robert our treasurer has brought up a troublesome quandary. Light Blue is 'Light Blue' but Light Red is 'Pink'.

This injustice is unjust.

Our new cause will be to rectify this unfairness. We could start calling Pink 'Light Red' but that would be a step backwards I think.

Some will say Light Blue could be called 'Sky' or 'Baby Blue' (you know who you are) but Pink is not called 'Baby Red' or 'Vagina'. (That would make an interesting crayon, though.)

So we will have to come up with a new word. Please reply with your suggestions.

Those people who said 'Sky' are now saying, "Boo-hoo, you twisted little mean man. We have a precedent for naming the color after an object. 'Orange' the color is named after 'Orange' the fruit! Gotcha!"

And I say "Nay, not, no. 'Tis the other way around." The fruit was named after the color.

"Then why aren't bananas called 'Yellows'?" the 'Sky' people ponder with a pout.

"Maybe they should be." I answer with a devious grin and a wink.

Any member that wishes to be on the Committee to Rename Fruit must:

1. Be an active member of the NAACP for at least one year.
2. Have renamed or reclassified at least 10 colors (not including his favorite)
3. Not be a 'sky' person.

Thank you for your patronage. Please visit our new website and click on all the banners. Also join the "Adopt a Color" program. (Raw Umber is still not taken, so hurry!)