Funny Sayings


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Who are we?



With no flight until the next day and finding the courtesy lounge to be little more than what looks to be the hold of a tramp steamer, Irwin and Audrey venture out into the city to find accommodations. They are stopped at every turn by circumstance and incompetence. Having only travelers checks and expired credit cards and then inadvertently stealing a car, they hit the road to find a friend that Irwin hasn't seen in years. On the way they almost hit an old man and young girl crossing the highway. The old man looks startlingly familiar as does the little girl but they dash off into the brush. Irwin contacts his friend MILES HATWICK and they drive until they find themselves in the dark bowels of the city. Fighting off an army of bums and low lifes they make it to Miles' apartment/laboratory. They unknowingly avoid a battery of defense mechanisms that spring from the walls as they stumble through the dark halls and corridors. When they knock on the door they are greeted by a maniac with a gun.

MILES Don't move or I'll give you a
sensual experience you'll never
Irwin smiles in recognition. IRWIN Hi Miles, how ya doin? MILES (a little confused) Don't play stupid with me! I know
what you're here for! I ought to
paint the wall with your brains!
IRWIN (still smiling) Boy, you always were a first class
kidder! This is great! What'd all
this stuff cost anyway?
MILES (turning to Audrey) You! Audrey gulps. AUDREY MILES Yesss, you! What kind of approach
is this? You're trying to throw me
off aren't you?
AUDREY The only throwing I'm gonna do is
MILES Who are you? How did you find me?
Where are the rest of you? It's
not like them to send a couple of
spies without a back up!
He runs to a window and looks out. IRWIN (giggling) Miles, this is just great! Just
like the old days! With hand
buzzers and cherry bombs! You
crack me up! I love it!
Miles turns from the window. MILES Now I get it! I thought they'd be
getting smarter as time went by!
That was my mistake. There must be
some advantage to sending imbeciles.
Of course! You two must be packed
with explosives!!
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