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Screenplays
Irwin
and Audrey look over at Miles...He gives them a look that says "I told
you so".
ZERON
(recovering)
It's
almost a pity I'm going to
have to get rid of you. You could
be a source of vast amusement.
IRWIN
You're
going to kill us?!
ZERON
(offended)
No,
of course not! You wouldn't be
any good to me dead.
Irwin and Audrey visibly
settle.
ZERON
I'll
just turn you into mindless sex slaves...
AUDREY
Mindless
sex slaves!!
MILES
I knew
it!! I knew you were trying
to take over the Earth!! What's it
for? You need water, right!? Or is
it women? Noooo! Or is it silicon?
ZERON
Oh
no! Nothing quite so dramatic.
Here, my card.
He pulls a card from his
coat and holds it up to Miles' face. Miles reads it aloud.
MILES
Dr.
Velman Neptorian Megaphalus
Zeron Squared. Astral Travel.
Travel to the Stars and Beyond.
Group rates a specialty. You are
a travel agent?
He is. And he is slowly
taking over the Earth by gradually replacing world leaders and major politicians
with intergalactic travelers who want the experience of controlling the
fate of a world. He gestures to a wall full of vials that will contain the
personal essences of thousands of paying alien customers ready to invade
the bodies of human beings. Of course none of them will do it responsibly.
MILES
Are
you trying to tell us that
aliens have been on Earth for the
past seventy years?
ZERON
Isn't
it delightful? During the
fifties and sixties most of the
American senate were my clients.
Weren't McCarthy and Nixon a
scream? Ah, ha, ha, ha, hee, hee!
Zeron is about to turn
them all into sex slave zombies with his aerosol spray `personality- in-
a- can' when Irwin kicks over the table and they scatter on the floor. Cursing
Zeron recovers all the unlabeled cans and sprays them one after another
into Irwin's face. Filled to overflowing with artificial personalities,
Irwin goes berserk and bursts from his bonds scattering the guards and then
flying out of the room with a mad scream. Zeron and his crew are up now
with weapons drawn. They are pointed at Miles and Audrey.
ZERON
Not
so fast if you please!
Audrey grabs an alien
weapon from the floor and points it at Zeron.
AUDREY
Freeze
screwball!!
Zeron chuckles.
ZERON
Oh
dear, it appears you've got us
surrounded. And with a weapon that
you haven't the faintest idea how
to operate!
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