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IRWIN Wha...? VOICE (from above IRWIN KIRKABEE? Irwin's head sinks into his hands. IRWIN The way my luck has been going
this could only be the wrath of God.
GOD That's right Irwin. This is God. IRWIN Oh Jesus... GOD He's busy. IRWIN Oh God... GOD Yes....? IRWIN Oh...nooo.. GOD Irwin... IRWIN (pained) Yes Lord. GOD Let's not be stuffy, God will do.
Now Irwin, I know you have kind of
been through the mill, but this is
important. Ahem, have you learned
anything from all this? There is a
lesson y'know. That's how I work.
Nothing happens for no reason. I
set you up in a series of
circumstances and you prove your
worth and mettle in the execution
thereof.
IRWIN There is a lesson in all this? I
get attacked by strange aliens,
flipped through time like a cheap
coin, shot at from all sides, tied
up like a pig, forty years
stripped away from me, my wife
turned into an infant...What could
the lesson in all this possibly
be?!!
There is a pause. Then the sound of flipping pages. IRWIN God? GOD Hang on, I'll find it. IRWIN (moans) Oh Jesus... ANOTHER VOICE Yes? GOD That's fine son, I've got it. JESUS Sure, Dad. GOD Good boy that,....Irwin, what day
is it?


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