INT. MUD HUT - DAY
Suzie cooks over the fake fire, sweating and dirty. She stirs
steaming pots that hang on tripods.
The door bursts open and Ace saunters in. He puts Threep on a
cushion on the dirt floor.
ACE
(like Elvis)
Hello mama baby. Baby mama.
Suzie puts here hands on her hips.
SUZIE
I'm really not in the mood for that
right now.
ACE
Look. I know that this is not the
best of circumstances and you
probably had a bad day, but I've
just been mentally and physically
tortured for eight hours.
Suzie has a look of horror on her face.
SUZIE
They want us to BREED.
ACE
Yeah, so? That's horrible
SUZIE
No. But to be forced - It's like
prostitution. It's ... evil.
Ace rubs his face with one hand. Suzie is distraught. He
holds her by her shoulders.
ACE
Suzie. Don't worry, I'm on your
side. We don't have to do anything
you don't want to.
Suzie, relieved, hugs him.
SUZIE
Thank you, Ace.
They kiss for the first time, a long passionate kiss.
They start to slowly lower to the ground.
Ace breaks the kiss.
He tosses Suzie to the side, hunches over, and does a
'Captian Kirk'.
ACE
Gotta - stop - now. Can't - take -
the - pressure.
He stands fully and comes out of the 'Captian Kirk'.
ACE
I thought you said you DIDN'T want
to breed, my love.
Suzie laughs and waves to the fire pit area.
SUZIE
I cooked dinner. Rice and beans and
something that smells like chicken.
Ace smiles.
ACE
That's good news, I'm tired of
those hot pockets.
Threep pipes up from the cushion.
THREEP
We have good news too!
Ace acknowledges Threep with a nod.
ACE
Yes. I'm joining the Underground
Resistance and we are escaping.
Threep blanches.
THREEP
No, silly. I met a girl!
Ace laughs.
ACE
Oh yeah that too.
INT. MUD HUT - NIGHT
Ace and Suzie lie in their bed, a giant robins nest with a
fake fur cover and fake fur blankets.
Ace has his arm around Suzie.
ACE
So did you ask them about upgrading
the hut?
SUZIE
They said if we do well at the show
then we can get a better hut.
ACE
After they sell our children. We
will be gone by then. But first I
have to do two weeks of miserable
hell. Goodnight Suzie.
SUZIE
Goodnight Ace.
They snuggle and close their eyes as the lights dim.
INT. MEETING ROOM - DAY
SUPERIMPOSE: TWO WEEKS OF MISERABLE HELL LATER
Ace sits, with Threep on his shoulders, at one end of long
table in a low ceilinged room with about a dozen other
people.
Alyssa is there. An older gray haired man on the other end of
the table reads:
GROUP LEADER
Welcome to the third fnarplet
o'clock meeting of Obedience
Anonymous.
He clears his throat.
GROUP LEADER
We are a group dedicated to
maintaining our own obedience as
well as bringing obedience to those
in need. If you want what we have
and are willing to go to any
lengths to get it, then you are in
the right place. Please limit your
sharing to five shmenkledirps or
less.
An older woman stands.
AMY
My name is Amy and I have an
obedience problem.
EVERYONE
Hi, Amy!
AMY
When I first got in the program I
resented the fact that I was forced
to be here. But I got a sponsor and
followed the steps and now I feel
like a new woman. An obedient
woman.
She sits and Ace stands.
ACE
My kind of gal, but I thought that
this was just a cover for the
resistance.
Every face freezes for a moment then panic ensues.
Alyssa dives over the table and puts Ace in a headlock on the
floor, covering his mouth. She nods to her caterpillar, who's
cloud of Nanites gather overhead.
People jump up, hitting secret buttons and devices.
An arsenal is presented from the walls, angular plasteel
helmets and chestplates, shiny chrome laser rifles and
pistols, and knives.
Everyone is very alert.
ALYSSA
(to Sukiyama)
Did his words get out?
Sukiyama converses with her nanite cloud.
SUKIYAMA
They caught it.
Alyssa releases Ace and stands.
ALYSSA
(to Ace)
Are you a dimwit?
Ace is unabashed.
ACE
Are you? How am I supposed to know?
ALYSSA
You didn't realize that there are
bugs everywhere?
Ace is getting angry. So is Threep.
THREEP
Hey I'm a bug!
ACE
I didn't think about it. Besides,
you and I talked freely before.
ALYSSA
Sukiyama's Nanites took care of it.
Wait a minute. You haven't been
talking about us openly, have you?
ACE
Yeah, a little. So?
Alyssa is exasperated.
THREEP
Calm down lady. I take care of that
stuff. What? Do I look stupid?
Threep makes a very goofy face.
ACE
Yeah, a little. So you've been
covering all my loose lips sink
ships talk with your Nanites?
THREEP
Yes ma'am.
ACE
Cool, but I'm not a ma'am.
THREEP
Maybe you are.
Threep makes that goofy face again. Ace shakes his head.
Then:
ACE
Maybe YOU are.
Meanwhile the whole room full of rebel warriors watch,
curious, leaning on walls, helmets under arm.
THREEP
Maybe I'm not.
Threep smirks.
ACE
Ah-ha! But MAYBE -- you ARE!
Alyssa interrupts.
ALYSSA
Boys! Stop it!
They stop and look at the staring crowd.
ALYSSA
Okay, lets pack it up and get to
business.
The group puts all the weapons and armor back into the secret
hiding places and go to the back of the room. A secret panel
is pressed and a stairway going down is revealed in the
floor.
INT. STAIRWAY - DAY
They file down the stairs with Ace and Alyssa in the lead,
lights turning on automatically. The walls and ceiling are
rough hewn rock.
At the bottom they are greeted by guards, who salute and let
them pass into a hallway. Ace salutes back.
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
They continue. Walls the same gray rock as the stairs.
ACE
So you are their leader?
ALYSSA
No, he is.
She points to a backlit shadowy figure in a doorway at the
end of the hallway.
Ace approaches, smiling, hand out to shake.
ACE
Glad to be on board, sir.
It's Sam.
ACE
What!?!
Sam laughs, shaking Aces's hand.
SAM
Glad to see you are finally showing
me the respect I deserve, kid.
Ace's eyes pop out. Mass confusion.
ACE
How?
SAM
By calling me sir.
ACE
No, I mean how did you become the
leader of the rebellion so soon
when we both arrived on the planet
at the same time and I just got
here?
SAM
I know that, I was just messing
with ya, bro.
Sam puts his arm around Aces's shoulder and walks him through
the doorway. The rest file after and Alyssa directs traffic,
pointing left and right.
ACE
So how are you?
SAM
I'm cool, ya know, been real busy
leading the resistance and all.
They walk through a huge natural cavern, set up with lights
and mats where the humans train in hand to hand combat.
Alyssa trails, listening.
ACE
What about what they did to you?
You know, down there?
SAM
My castration?
Ace winces.
SAM
It was a blessing in disguise. I
can concentrate on my duties
better.
ACE
How come your voice isn't higher
pitched now?
Sam laughs.
SAM
The reason that the castrati of
days past had higher pitched voices
is because they were castrated
before adolescence so they never
matured.
Ace nods.
ACE
Ah. Okay, so what about my first
question? How did you become the
leader of the rebellion?
SAM
I had a misunderstanding with my
Insectoids and the sent me here
directly.
Ace cocks his head.
ACE
Directly?
SAM
Yes. When I arrived the former
leader had disappeared. With my
credentials and leadership
abilities I was easily elected.
Ace perks up.
ACE
Elected?
SAM
Yes. I ran under the platform of
change. The way of confrontation is
not working. I felt a new way is
needed, a way of negotiation.
Ace frowns.
ACE
Negotiation?
Threep grins.
THREEP
You funny, Ace. You just repeat his
last word and make it a question.
Why you do that?
ACE
That?
They snicker then stop. Back to business. Ace raises his
voice, garnering the attention of the trainers and trainees
around them. Alyssa moves in to actively listen.
ACE
I disagree. We need to be free.
This whole pet thing is wrong on so
many levels.
THREEP
Levels?
ACE
(to Threep)
Shush.
(to Sam)
We need an armed rebellion to force
our freedom upon them.
Sam smugly shakes his head.
SAM
Nope. No. Nyet. Ain't gonna happen.
I've already talked to the troops,
put a stop to it.
Ace gets angry.
ACE
I will stop YOU! You got voted in,
you can get voted out.
SAM
Good luck little buddy. The next
election ain't till next year.
Alyssa taps her chin.
ALYSSA
Now wait a minute. Maybe there IS
something we can do.
She strides away purposefully. Ace flails his eyes around,
searching.
ACE
(to Sam)
I'll wrastle you for it?
Sam shakes his head sadly.
SAM
It's all wrapped up, a done deal.
Get on the gravy train or get out
of the way. Of the gravy. Now I'm
hungry.
Alyssa returns with a old Chinese man, PROCTOR SYLEX. He bows
and they return it.
PROCTOR SYLEX
I am Proctor Sylex. Alyssa has told
me of the problem and luckily we
have are contingency plans for
this.
SAM
There is no problem here.
Proctor Sylex recites from memory.
PROCTOR SYLEX
In the eventuality of a challenge
to the leadership during a non
election year what is required is a
qualification test for the usurper
so that an election can be held.
SAM
There can be no election! The
people have no congregating point!
How will they vote?
Sam crosses his arms smugly.
Proctor Sylex fondles his chin, thinking.
PROCTOR SYLEX
A good point.
ACE
At the talent show?
PROCTOR SYLEX
Ah! Better point. The human's
choice award can be the excuse. I
will let the people know.
He turns to Ace.
PROCTOR SYLEX
And now for the challenge. An
ancient and revered ritual.
Proctor Sylex puts one hand behind his back and squinches up
his face. Sam rolls his eyes.
PROCTOR SYLEX
Rock, paper, scissors!
Ace grins and puts one hand behind his back.
ACE
One, Two, three!
They withdraw their hands.
THREEP
Both Paper!
PROCTOR SYLEX
Okay. Best two out of three.
They begin again.
PROCTOR SYLEX
Crap. Never mind. You win. I hate
this asshole anyway.
He hooks a thumb at Sam, who wilts.
PROCTOR SYLEX
So now you both need to send me
your statements of intent and I
will disseminate them to the
populous.
Alyssa grabs Ace's arm and leads him away.
ALYSSA
Gotta go now then, bye and see you
later.
THREEP
Bye mister Sylex and you too mister
asshole!
ACE
What's the rush?
ALYSSA
We gotta get out of here before Sam
messes the deal up. Seen it happen
before. He is good.
She escorts him our the door and up the stairs.
ACE
Okay what's the rush now?
ALYSSA
You need to practice very hard for
the talent contest.
Ace raises an eyebrow.
THREEP
No lady! Didn't you hear it in
there? It's just an excuse to vote.
ALYSSA
What you don't understand is the
majority of humans here are second
and third generation. They take
this talent show very seriously.
They would not want a leader that
is not talented.
THREEP
But that's STUPID!
Ace laughs, agreeing.
INT. MUD HUT - NIGHT
Ace stands before Suzie.
SUZIE
But that's STUPID!
ACE
I know Suzie. But we gotta do it.
SUZIE
Yes I know. I just hope we can
bring down this whole society
before we leave.
Ace hugs her.
ACE
Me too.
He breaks the hug and holds her at arms length by the
shoulders.
ACE
Now go get yer guitar and lets work
up a routine.
INT. ROBOT HOUSE - DAY
Ace and Suzie perform for Fiss and Snegg dressed in their
Cirque du Soleil costumes.
With one leg perched on a stool, Ace's hand flies back and
forth. Thigh to chest and then back again, each slap beats
out a careful rhythm.
ACE
(singing)
"Hambone, Hambone, have you heard?"
Suzie strums the guitar.
SUZIE
(singing)
"Papa's gonna buy me a
mockingbird."
ACE
(singing)
And if that mockingbird don't sing,
SUZIE
(singing)
Papa's gonna buy me a diamond ring.
Suzie attempts to roll over Aces's back but misses and they
collapse in a heap.
Fiss and Snegg clap.
FISS
Oh yes. Very good. The ending was
the best part! Although quite short
I would think.
Ace and Suzie pick themselves up and brush themselves off.
ACE
That 'ending' was a mistake. The
song will go longer.
FISS
Then you shall have to practice
more.
Ace nods.
ACE
Yes. And I would like to suggest
costumes that fit the theme of the
performance better.
Fiss gestures.
FISS
House? Please?
The rack of costumes slides out of the wall. Ace forages till
he finds a ballroom gown. He tosses it to Susie. He then
finds a tuxedo jacket and top hat and slips them on.
Then he does a jig.
ACE
Yup. Boy howdy this is nice.
FISS
You must incorporate this dance
into your act. Also the caterpillar
needs some involvement.
Ace nods agreement while packing up to leave.
ACE
Good idea. We will work him in.
DOME HOUSE (O.S.)
Fiss and Snegg, it is time for your
feeding.
Fiss stands.
FISS
Okay house.
(to Ace)
Time to go.
And he shoos then with his mandibles.
SERIES OF SHOTS
1) Ace at the Obedience Anonymous Meeting, pounding the table
to make a point. Being overruled by Sam.
2) Practicing the act in front of Fiss. Messing up.
3) Eating in the mud hut.
4) Practicing the act in front of the mud hut, tossing Threep
around.
5) Calender with the Fnarplet pages flying off.
6) Practicing the act in front of Fiss. Not Messing up. Doing
good.
7) Fiss clapping.
8) They bow.
INT. AUDITORIUM - DAY
The huge auditorium is filled with humans and their Insectoid
owners. They gather into clumps, chattering and showing off
to each other.
Ace with Threep and Suzie dragging a suitcase are lead on
their leashes by Fiss, strutting proud through the crowd.
On the Stage Proctor Sylex taps the microphone and reads from
a clipboard.
PROCTOR SYLEX
Ahem. Attention everyone.
The crowd settles down. Fiss stops, reining in Ace and Suzie.
PROCTOR SYLEX
Don't lose your randomly drawn
numbers. You will not be able to
perform with out them.
Ace and Suzie shrug.
ACE AND SUZIE
(to Fiss)
We don't have a number.
FISS
We shall go talk to the small Asian
man.
Ace and Suzie follow Fiss to the stage.
FISS
Humanoid leader person!
Proctor Sylex jumps.
PROCTOR SYLEX
Ah! Excuse me. Yes sir?
FISS
My humans have no number.
Fiss waves a claw at Ace, Suzie and Threep, who smile.
Proctor Sylex recognizes them.
PROCTOR SYLEX
A simple clerical error. Here is
their number, they will be last.
He hands a slip to Ace and winks.
PROCTOR SYLEX
Good luck, or as we say in the
business, break an anterior coxa.
Fiss is ecstatic as they go onto the stage and to the back.
FISS
What fantastic synchronicity! The
odds of receiving the last slot?
Incredible. I am extremely pleased.
He preens, cleaning his forearms with his mandibles.
FISS
I will leave you till after the
show. Do not disappoint me. I enjoy
your presence and do not want to
have to dispose of you.
ACE
Yes sir.
Fiss strides away as they stake out an area backstage and
unpack.
ACE
So I guess we just wait.
SUZIE
Maybe we should check out the
competition.
Sam trailing Alyssa cruises by.
SAM
Hey don't try anything funny. I
know something's up.
Ace shows his palms.
ACE
The only thing up is the jig, Sam.
Everybody knows where I stand and
everybody knows where you stand.
It's up to them.
Sam is stiff lipped. Alyssa shrugs apologetically.
Sam stomps off, still trailing Alyssa.
THREEP
Bye, bye, mister asshole!
Suzie sits on the suitcase and tunes her guitar.
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